Dear poopy boy,

Dear poopy boy,



I see you walking down the stair with your pants around your ankles and in my mind I have the argument with myself which is worse: you falling down the stairs or you having pooped in your underwear and now its EVERYWHERE...

I love you very much. I really do but when you poop in your "big boy" underwear, it makes me question if you love me. IF you do love me as much as you tell me you do, wouldn't you want to NOT make me deal with your poop.

I mean I love you and I would never ask you to clean crap off of me.

Every time you do this I think "This could be the thing that makes me love your siblings more". I would never say this out loud to you but I know that if you had not sprung forth out of my own body I would NOT be putting up with this.

Seriously what kind of decent person poops in their clothes??

If my friends did that I would stop being friends with them.

Why do you think that something is wrong with allowing your "peeps and poops", as you refer to it, to flow freely into the potty?? I don't get it...

Doesn't the feeling of POOP on your skin bother you??

Doesn't the smell of POOP surrounding you bother you??

Either way it bothers me and seeing as how I am your mother and my opinion matters more then yours does at this stage of your life thats that.

You will start pooping in the potty or I will just stop loving you as much... Or something I couldn't figure out what else to say there.

Love,

Your thoroughly exhausted Mommy

P.S. Do you think you could start sleeping all the way through the night in your own bed, instead of invading mine??

If your gonna be up at that time of night the least you could do it take care of your baby sister, but since you obviously can't do that PLEASE just stay in your bed.

Again with Love,

Your extremely exhausted Mommy

Did you know

I bet none of you knew that if a mom speaks to a room full of children and husbands no one could hear her!! 

Its a fact. Only after she has repeated herself about 5 times would they finally start to even acknowledge that she is even speaking. And then after another 5 times they might realize shes talking to them. 

Amazing I know. How is it that 2 so diverse groups of people can ignore the same person the same way??

Another fact, if a mom speaks to a room full of moms she only has to say it ONCE. Not really sure if its 'cause women (moms for the most part) listen better then fathers and children OR if its 'cause moms hear at the same frequency they speak... In any case I feel as though I have been beating my head against several brick walls (of varying sizes) for quite some time now. 

I ask my husband to mention things at work and three weeks later its still not done. 

I ask my kids to do something and before they are even out of the room the turn around ask me "what did you want me to do again??"

AAARRRGGGGHHH